IT'S APPLES AND ORANGES..

There's been a breakthrough with work. I found it on the email this morning.

More excitingly, there's been a breakthrough at the juice shop. Somehow, I found myself there this afternoon, despite the unofficial embargo I had placed on it after the last incident. I only realised when I was standing at the counter.

In exceptionally good humour, I approached the situation by asking what juices were available. Orange and mandarin, came the reply.

"What about apple?" I say, looking wistfully at the apples.

"No." Sometimes if you leave enough silence after an answer you don't like, the person will explain the reason for the answer, or in rare cases, change it altogether.

Not the juice lady. We stand staring at each other for so long that an innocent bystander says, "Come on, give her some apple," to which she replies that the apple juicer is broken. Why didn't she just say so?

Hmmm. The options.

"Ok, can I please have an orange juice?"

"What about mandarin, do you want some mandarin??"

What the heck, let's do it. Let's do the mix.

Then, the breakthrough. While she is happily splattering me with juice, she asks if I live nearby. It's disappointing in the face of such a step forward, to have to explain that I can't understand what she's saying when there's noise (the juicer) (it's a quirk of second languages, background noise is the enemy)

She finishes juicing and asks again, in my haste to reply, I say,

"Yes, I live a block away, that's why I like the juices here." Proximity, as opposed to quality. Woops. Well, it certainly isn't for the ambience.

I decide to take things another step and ask if the 27 pesos I"m carrying is enough to get a papaya as well?

"Chica!" she replies, which I construe as a rebuff at having the audacity to suggest such a thing. Turns out she's saying I can have a small one, same word, different meaning.

I retreat from the juice shop with my half-litre of orange and mandarin, 2 bananas and a papaya wondering if maybe, just maybe, I'm one of those twisted individuals who thrives on rudeness. I keep going back don't I?